The Birds and the Bee’s With Ayame Sohma.
Gather around children, it’s story time! Tonight kids, I’m going to tell you how and where babies come from. Yeah…isn’t that exciting? Alright…where do I begin…? Ahhh Yes…let’s begin with the parents.
Well children…when a Mom and Daddy love each other very much they decide to have intercourse. Intercourse is when A Daddy sticks his no-no in the Mommy’s baginga…then Daddy has these little runners that want to make it to the finish line that is the Mommy’s fertilized egg.
Not like the kind of egg a chicken lays…silly gooses! At least one of Daddy’s special runners has to make it to this egg to make a baby. Now…usually a Mommy and a Daddy are married when they decide to procreate, but …under different circumstances, that’s not the case
In fact, Sometimes when you’re a teenager and you don’t think things through, you get bored and decide to have intercourse with a Boyfriend or…a random stranger. But…let’s save that tale for another time….
Hmmmm where was I? Oh Yes…Well…Mommy starts to get bigger and bigger, carrying a little cute tiny baby inside her. Although, for the first few months, the baby looks like a weird little alien thing…Did you know that you all had tails before you were born?
But that’s besides the point. After Nine months…usually…sometimes babies can be born prematurely…or…late…but let’s just assume that the baby is healthy. After nine wonderful months of Mommy getting bigger, having strange food cravings, hormonal issues, and body changes, Mommy is finally ready to give birth.
Now this is where we learn where babies come from.
Well…Mommy’s Baginga starts to contract. That means that it starts to stretch and stretch and once it’s at about 8 cm, Mommy is ready to deliver. So Babies come out of Mommy’s no no area….all bloody and placenta-ie…Isn’t that wonderful?
The End.
